I'm eating all of the evidence.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
