i jhust puked up my retainher.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
