Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
