you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize