She announced her abortion via fbk
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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