so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
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