she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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