Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
