I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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