She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
