just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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