and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
