Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
