I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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