You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
We have started to decorate penises.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
