oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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