I showed him my bush... on skype.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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