ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
