You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
