There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
