Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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