I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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