after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
