what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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