So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
