My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
