so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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