their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
