At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
