I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
