The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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