We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
