Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
my shit smells like andre
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
