Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
my sisters under your porch take her home
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
