I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
