I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize