***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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