FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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