I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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