dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
