In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
