I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
