Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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