My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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