i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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