i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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