You're earring is so big in my mouth
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
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