you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
