What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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