honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
