I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I am available for nakedness
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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