There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
