He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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