I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
smell my finger.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
