I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
