I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
